Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
