Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I supernannyed him into submission
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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