So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
