I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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