Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
don't judge my taste in strippers
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
