So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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