you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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