Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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