Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
