i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
