Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
