Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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