I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
