at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
