I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize