When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
