do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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