You don't have asthma, your pregnant
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
