boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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