dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Randomize
