Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
