I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
