Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
