why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize