I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize