so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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