Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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