Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
