What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
