yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
