Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
