how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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