Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
