but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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