omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
