i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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