It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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