I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
