Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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