Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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