are you still at the devil's house?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
