seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
