Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
