I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
