I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh god heโs a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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