people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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