u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
