worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
