If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
