I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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