oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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