i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How does one acquire holy water?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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