We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
