the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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