yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize