why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
