all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
