i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is Oprah even human
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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