When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
