operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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