i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
