Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
