Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
