I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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