Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
