actually, I'm a sock model
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
