I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My pussy is not your playground.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What drink are we having for lunch?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
