my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
