My girlfriend figured out who you are.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
