Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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