I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize