how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
