I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
