drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
