The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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