You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We got so high we made milksteak
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
