Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
