In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize